An Open Letter For My Daughter On the 3rd Birthday I’ve Spent ‘With’ Her

Today is my daughter Allegra’s 28th birthday, but it is only the 3rd birthday I’ve been able to celebrate with her. When she was born, she was adopted by Tommy and Sunny Childs, and the adoption agency structured the birth and adoption in such a way that the adoption was automatically closed due to an Alabama state law that closed all adoptions.

My daughter found me after unsealing her adoption records in September 2017 and I have been truly blessed that she and her family have welcomed me into their lives. In the last one and a half years, we’ve gotten to know each other well. I’ve also had the pleasure of getting to know her parents (Tommy and Sunny) as well as her partners (Christopher, Sierra, Josh, Adam, and Kwan), and my grandsons (Judeas, Maverick, and Ezzoh.) All of them have treated me with warmth and love, and I feel the same for all of them. It has been a joy to expand our family in this way.

Before September 2017, I always fought a bout of depression as her birthday approached and for a bit after her birthday. I’d wonder where she was, who her parents were, what she looked like. I’d pray she was happy, healthy, and most of all – alive. I hoped that one day we would be able to meet, even if it was just one time. I wanted to hug her and her parents, just once.

There are no words that can adequately convey how blissful it has been to spend time with Allegra and her family, both in person and online. Every day I hear from her directly or see her in my Facebook feed, I can’t quite believe my good fortune in being allowed to share in her life.

My own Mom passed away last month, and while that has been devastating, I will be forever grateful that she was able to meet Allegra and her family before she left us. With that happy event, Mom was able to finish everything she wanted to do in this world and was at peace.

Happy birthday, my beautiful daughter Allegra Ashleigh Elizabeth Katherine Bree Ray Childs Moreno. I love you and your family so much. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives.