An Open Letter from a Birth Mother

Next week I celebrate my daughter’s birthday alone, once again. Although she lives, I’ve never laid eyes on her. She came to me at a time in my life when I could barely take care of myself, much less a precious child, and so I made the only decision that was right for me at that time – she was adopted.

I agonized over the decision for the entire pregnancy, and for months I wasn’t sure what I would do. I finally realized that God knew as well as I did that I couldn’t provide for her and that he was using me to help a family who needed a baby. Sixteen years later, I know I did what was right for everyone at the time, and I don’t regret it for an instant. I do at times allow myself to daydream about what might have been had the father been a different man, or had I been older and settled in a career that allowed me to raise her myself.

To Adopted Children everywhere, particularly my sweet daughter: Your Birth Mother loves you and thinks of you every day, but especially on your birthday, holidays, Mothers’ Day… I pray that you are healthy and happy, and that your parents have shown you a life that I could not have given you. I hope you know how much you are cherished, and that I wish the best for you.

To Adoptive Parents everywhere, with special love to my daughter’s parents: Your child’s Birth Mother thinks of you as often as she does her child, and thanks the Lord for providing her with parents like you. I love you as family, and hope that our child has brought you much joy and laughter. I would never try and take your place, for you are her parents, but if you ever need me, you merely need call.

To other Birth Mothers: I hope you have found the same peace I have with your own decisions. Know that through you, God worked a miracle, and blessed a happy home with the sunshiny love of a child. You are not alone, there are others of us who’ve made the same decision, perhaps for reasons different for your own, but we feel the same way you do. If you are still struggling with the decision, find someone you can talk to – a friend, your pastor, or maybe even check with your local adoption agencies to see if they sponsor a support group for Birth Mothers. For many of us, having someone we can talk to about it normally helps tremendously. It’s the pressure and anxiety of keeping it a secret that makes it more difficult.

I can’t send this to my own daughter, since I don’t know her or her parents’ names, but I hope that by sharing this, perhaps I can help someone else with their own situation. Hugs and love to you all, and God bless.

Love,
Your Birth Mother

Jennifer Ray
http://www.jenaray.com/