Starr Ambrose blogs with Wild on Books!
December 9, 2008Apparently, I am one of THOSE people…
January 6, 2009
When your massage therapist suggests you use a safe word with him, you get the feeling the massage will be pretty intense!
That’s what happened to me tonight. I went for a long overdue massage and had a new guy this time – at least he was new to me. So of course we talked about what I liked, where my problem areas are, etc. beforehand.
When he learned I like the Firm Swedish massage and that I ask for male masseuses because they are typically stronger and can apply more pressure he suggested that I pick a ‘safe word’ in case he was too hard on me. We settled on simply using the word ‘stop’ and he also said he would probably be able to tell by the way I was breathing and also if I tensed up.
It’s funny, though. I read a lot of BDSM romances and learned about something called ‘subspace’ where the submissive enters a state where they are kind of floating, aware but feel somewhat outside of themselves. I get that way during a good massage. If a massage therapist is doing a good job, that is.
The first time I had a professional massage a few years back, I was a little nervous. I had heard that they are very careful of keeping the private areas of your body covered with the sheet at all times, but was still a little worried that an accident might happen and I’d end up all shy , embarrassed and tense from it.
I needn’t have worried. Not only are they really good at keeping you covered, but about 15 minutes into that massage I entered that relaxed euphoria and realized that I didn’t give a flying leap if he wanted to yank the covers completely off of me. Seriously. At that point, I felt so damn good I didn’t care what he did to me as long as those magic hands kept doing their job.
The next day when I thought about that feeling, I thought that must be what ‘subspace’ feels like, or at least a little close to it.
Tonight when my masseur assured me he would be able to tell if I was OK by paying attention to my breathing and body tension, I once again thought how similar this activity is to the BDSM relationships I’ve read about. A good Dom, as I understand it, must be totally aware of his sub’s state, using the same sort of signals to tell what state of mind the sub is in.
At least that’s how I imagine it must be… I might be reading too many novels, though! LOL
12 Comments
Oh my mercy. I’ve never had a massage. I’m thinking maybe at some point I should have one. Research you understand. We must talk. LOL
Love ya!
Roni
What Roni said!
Have a great day!
Claudia
I have had many massages, but never correlated the “sub space” concept. I’ve read about it too and now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense.
I’ve been hypnotized too and I always felt that a good massage was more like being hypnotized, so in a way, I guess they’re very similiar.
Good post!
Valerie
😀
Now I am jonesing for a massage.
A guided meditation can be like that, if it’s a good one. A massage sounds good about now.
ann
P.S. at the moment I’m sitting in the Charlotte airport waiting for my next flight, and I’ve got an hour and a half….boring. 🙄
😀
massages are fantastic!
Hmmm.
Massages are fantastic, especially after shoveling snow for the third time in less than a week. Is there a masseur in the house?
Later,
Lynn
Wow, I need to borrow your massage therapist. I can see the correlation for sure, but I’ve never experienced that state during a massage…would love to though. *grin*
I LOVE getting a massage but have always defaulted to a woman masseuse. Hmmm, maybe I need to be a bit more bold?
Hmm, maybe not, I’m a wimp on the table.
I should point out that I don’t do the relaxing massages, I get the deep tissue, so they really work my muscles. I wonder if that is the difference for us? I have always had this reaction when I have a professional massage, not just with this guy.
He’s just the first to suggest a safe word to me! LOL
I want a deep tissue massage! BDH (Before Darn Hubby) I had a weekly appointment. I MISS my weekly massage. I NEED my weekly appointment.
I’m like you, Jennifer. I like the deep tissue massage, but my girl still has to be careful. I have a condition known as Fibromyalgia which affects the entire musculo-skeletal system, so I hurt everywhere all the time, especially in the neck, shoulders, and back. I love the warming oils and the heated stones that really target the deep aching areas and the tiny water feature and soft mystic music really sends me off into a truely relaxed frame of mind.